The past few weeks at home with my boys, I have been thinking that God is trying to send me a message and prepare my heart for the end of the summer that I always dread. The tantrums, the screeching, and the boys simply just getting on eachothers nerves has hit an all time high (or low, depending on how you look at it). The little bug in my ear buzzing around telling me that I am ready to go back to school tomorrow because I clearly do not always have what it takes to do this stay at home mom gig.
But then of course today, our last day home together before I start my teacher workshops, the boys have been nothing short of perfect. Enjoyable in every aspect. They have parked their cars in the driveway when I tell them it is time to go, they have taken turns on the stool when washing hands at the sink, and played nicely in the sandbox while I made lunch. They look adorable in their little shirts tucked into their shorts, with their colorful Crocs that are showing the wear and tear of an active summer. I try to capture the way they look at me and the way they talk and the cute things they say and truly remember every moment of this beautiful summer day.
And my chin starts to quiver and tears well up in my eyes and begin to spill over because I know that today is the end.
Today is the 81st day in a row, that I have spent all day long with my boys. 50 plus hours a week when it is just me and my two little buddies. What a lucky mom I am.
While I went into this summer thinking that this summer was going to be easier than last summer since the boys can get around on their own so much better, they can communicate their needs, and can even help out here and there. I did, however, forget to calculate two little boys' opinions into the equation, and now realize that this summer has in fact been quite challenging at times. The times we have been to the library and I know I have gotten "the look" from on-looking moms when my boys haven't used anything that would even resemble library voices and are more interested in climbing over the book bins than sitting down to actually read a single book. The times I have had to strap a screaming toddler into the stroller and head to the car as fast as possible, because no, we don't get to do that "one more time." Or the times we have been driving in the car and someone makes an animal noise at the top of their lungs and then the other one repeatedly says, "That's too loud! That's too loud!" equally as loud as the animal noise, if not louder. I cannot count the times I have shouted "STAY IN THE DRIVEWAY!!!" as they test the limits of what they can and can not get away with when they are riding their cars and so desperately want to go into the street. Or the time that I suddenly became referee to a little game they made up after nap one day called "Smell My Butt" where they chased each other around laughing and laughing while they tried to smell eachothers butts. Yes, this too.
But what fun it has been to spend my days with these two. I know when I look back on this summer in the coming years, I will miss this. All of it, including those challenging times. I will look back on this summer and remember the sandy little feet, and weeks of bandaids on the knees, and messy mac and cheese faces and I will want to do it all over again.
And so tomorrow when I hang up my SAHM hat for another school year, it is these images that will carry me through each day, and leave me forever grateful for this summer, even though it had to come to an end.
Otsego Splash Pad
Biking to Dairy Queen
"Bike ride see tackters" almost every night.
A sweet hug
Como Zoo with cousin Waylon
Hanover Parade, not so sure about all the loud firetruck sirens
Checking on our vegetable garden
Minnehaha Falls
St. Michael Daze Bounce House-Owen LOVED the slide!
Strawberry Picking
By far, their favorite summer activity: Playing in the driveway on their cars.
While I was pregnant with the boys, we were blessed with 2 practically brand new cribs that were passed along to us from another local twin family. While we weren't sure how we were going to decorate the nursery, we immediately set the cribs up and I remember thinking how real it felt. We were going to have not one, but two babies sleeping in the nursery.
Daddy Setting Up the Cribs
Soon, I figured out the decorations, ordered crib quilts from Etsy, made some name banners, had my mom make the crib skirts, and in a matter of time, we had a nursery that I was excited to bring our two baby boys home to.
Aaron's Crib
Owen's Crib
Except what I didn't realize was that the nursery and the cribs would feel like eons away from our bedroom once the babies were actually born. In our house at the time, the nursery was on the 2nd level and our master bedroom was on the main level. And so, when the boys came home from the hospital, the boys slept in bassinets right next to my side of the bed. I don't know if it was because the babies were hooked up to a bagillion cords and monitors for the first 15 days of their lives and I just need to have them right by me to make sure they were okay, or just motherly instincts, but I kept them right there next to me for several weeks. Okay, a couple months.
Video {Our 2nd Day home from hospital}
And then Dan finally said, "Honey, do you think we could move their bassinets to the other side of the room so you aren't awakened by their little squeaks all night long?" I gasped at such a possibility, but agreed that maybe moving them away from me would be alright, especially since it could equal more sleep.
But when they were across the room from me, it felt too far away. I couldn't roll over and peek in on them if I woke up and wanted to see them, and I certainly couldn't rock the bassinets with my feet while I was laying down trying to catch a couple more minutes of sleep, like I had gotten so good at.
The boys were now approaching 4 months of age and they still had not slept a night (or nap) in their cribs. Again, my husband's voice of reason casually mentioned one day, "Honey, do you think that the boys should start sleeping in their cribs one of these days?" I again gasped at such a possibility, but agreed that maybe moving them into their nursery would be alright, especially since it could equal more sleep. Aaron was such an active sleeper that he was bonking his arms on the side of the bassinet and it was waking him up. Owen was simply outgrowing the bassinet and needed more room.
So, we put the boys into their cribs for the first time. I remember thinking how the cribs seemed so gigantic for their tiny little bodies. We had the monitors hooked up in our bedroom, but they just felt too far away from me in my bedroom on the main level. We lasted one night like this, and then Dan and I "moved in" to the guest bedroom upstairs next to the nursery so I could be closer and get to them faster for all of the night feedings and wakings.
Slowly, I got used to being separated from my babies at night and we eventually moved back down to our master bedroom. In the coming months, we would move to a new home and I would try to recreate the nursery decor, but truthfully the nursery at our new house never felt just right. It was only a few short weeks into living at our new house that we separated the boys into their own rooms as one would wake up and cry and he would wake up the other one and vice versa and Dan and I were getting up around 10 times a night between the 2 of them.
So Owen moved out of the nursery and we never really got a chance to decorate his new room because I always thought he would move back in, once he got the sleeping-through-the-night thing down. Well that never really happened, so they have continued to have their own rooms, and the idea of it has really grown on me. Being a twin, you have to share so, so much...all of the time. So I kind of like that they can have their own space.
A couple of months ago, Dan and I agreed that the boys were ready for big boy beds. They hadn't ever tried to climb out of their cribs or any of the other tell-tale signs of being ready...it's just that they have really never slept that great in their cribs. So we figured it was time.
{Last night in the cribs}
Taking Down the Cribs:
It was fun picking out new decorations and paint colors and themes for the rooms (more on that in a different blog post). Best of all, the boys absolutely LOVE their new big boy beds. They get right up in them at night and go right to sleep without getting out of bed a thousand times. The first 2 nights in the beds, they actually both slept through the night and slept until AFTER 7am!!! (if you know us, you will know what an accomplishment that is!)
Trying out Owen's new big boy bed for the first night!
The part that I have loved most now that they have their big boys beds, is having a place to lay down with each boy at the end of the day, to lay together and talk about our day. They love to list off what we have done during the day and I think they love just having that one on one time to wind down before they go to sleep. It's precious.
And now the cribs have gone full circle, as they were just picked up last weekend by another family who is expecting twins. I was super teary-eyed about taking the cribs down and definitely emotional seeing them go out the front door, because I know it is the end of one chapter for us and our boys. Those cribs have stood the test of cries, blowouts, first words, squeals of joy, lots of dancing and bouncing, and the place where my boys were able to rest their sweet little faces at the end of each day.
I am so happy that another set of twins will be able to use the cribs. It's fun to think of the chapter that is just about to begin for that family, when the new babies will lay down in there for the first time, and what stories and memories those cribs will be apart of in their new home.
