Just over 6 years ago, Dan and I got engaged on a cliff overlooking Lake Superior at Tettegouche State Park. Since then, the North Shore has always held a special place in our hearts. Before the boys were born, we'd take weekend visits to Duluth, stay in our favorite bed and breakfast there, and casually wander around, taking our time at shops, parks, and other area attractions.
Dan and I visiting Duluth pre-kids, circa 2009!
When the boys were born, our plans for travel came to a screeching halt. There is not much time or energy left for vacations when you become a parent. Just when you make plans, someone ends up getting sick, the weather doesn't pan out quite right, or you become too exhausted to even sit down and make plans, let alone pack a suitcase or 4, let alone carry out the plans of the trip you had in mind (does anyone remember our trip to California when O and A were just 18 months old?!). Traveling with kids is not really a vacation, amiright parents?!
But that little hankering for a weekend road trip in peak Minnesota Fall Colors season has never left our minds. Last year we booked a hotel in Duluth during October, but as the week came closer, the weather report forecasted a high in the 30's for the weekend we had planned. Ummmm, no. Cancel that reservation. Last summer we booked a beautiful cabin on the shores of Lake Superior and I was pumped, only to have the cabin's owner email me a few weeks later apologizing, but he had accidentally double-booked that weekend and was giving priority to the honeymooners who actually reserved it first. Shucks.
And then there was this year. We booked a hotel in Duluth way back in July with high hopes that the third time would be a charm, as they say.
And it was. A perfect weekend in Duluth, complete with our two little threenagers.
Perfect in all the ways that traveling with twin 3 year olds can be. Listening to Humpty Dumpty on repeat for the duration of the car ride, stopping for potty breaks along side the road, meltdowns during the mid-day hours as we try to squeeze in extra time at the State Parks even though it is nap time, sleeping on an uncomfortable pull-out couch with the boys even though we booked a suite, and oh ya, cleaning up puke in our hotel room on not just one night, but both nights.
Yes, perfect.
You see, those types of things are our normal. But we got to experience our normal, with the MOST perfect fall weather and most picturesque Minnesota backdrop that is the North Shore. We ordered our berry pie and ice cream with 4 spoons instead of 2 like we used to do. We got to not just see Gooseberry Falls again, but see its splendor for the first time from the eyes of a child. We got to hike at a pace that was much slower than we were used to and hunt for the perfect walking stick as most of the other tourists passed us by. We got to visit Split Rock Lighthouse again, but for the first time with 4 extra little legs trying to walk back up all those stairs after visiting the shoreline. We got to go to bed each night listening to each child recall all their favorite things that they did that day with their family.
Ahhhh, what a summer. There has been more testing going on around here than at a public school during the month of April. This summer at home with my newly turned 3 year old boys was a challenging one for me. I spent my days feeling much more like a referee than a mom. The constant bickering with each other "He took that away from meeeeeeeee," fighting over toys "But, Ieeeeeee had that firrrrrrrrrst," and some good old fashioned tantrums after screaming for what they wanted didn't end up getting them their way.
This is hard for me to write, but I am tired of trying to encourage healthy breakfasts when all they want is ice cream and will remind me so for almost 2 hours. I am tired of constantly searching the house for their "little blue tow truck" when it is no where to be found and we need to get out the door. I am tired of trying to figure out that what they meant by "little blue tow truck" actually meant "drag racer with flames," and that is why I couldn't find what they wanted. I'm tired of trying to get them to actually sit at the table for meals instead of twisting themselves up in our curtains, ketchup face and all, as they decide lunch is the perfect time to play hide and go seek with each other.
I know all of these things are totally normal behavior for 3 year olds, it is just so mentally exhausting dealing with it day in and day out with not one child, but two.
CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG??!!
Out of all of the stages with our twins, I truly think this one has been the most difficult for me. Time-outs don't work, negotiating doesn't work...I'm obviously still trying to figure out what does work to get 3 year olds to listen. I lay in bed at night wondering what I could have done differently and try not to feel like such a failure. 3 just hasn't looked good on me as a mom.
The good news is that, to most of you, my boys will look like happy, well-adjusted little people. Because when they are happy and getting along with each other, it is a beautiful thing. I try to record their little conversations with each other in my head, and remember the way they hold hands with each other (without being asked to) in parking lots or just randomly throw their arms around each other for a hug. They way they call each other "Buddy" and the way they constantly ask about each other when they are apart. It can truly be just so, so sweet.
So, as I pack my school bag tonight to head back to school tomorrow, it is always bittersweet for me. Despite all the struggles of managing 3 year old behavior, deep down I am so very thankful to have spent every waking second of my summer with my littles. I will never grow tired of their hugs, their requests to sit in my lap, hearing them say, "you look bootiful momma" out of the blue, or laying with them for hours as they try to take a nap or go to bed every night (okay...nevermind...that is getting really old).
Sooooo with that, I leave you with some of our happy moments from this summer....
We are very much rule followers over here. So when I read somewhere that you are supposed to wait until your child is 1 year old to feed them eggs for the first time, we did just that. My husband was anxious to share his love of a good, hearty eggs and bacon breakfast with our littles, so just after our boys turned 1, we cooked up a yummy breakfast and the boys devoured it.
But before I had even taken Aaron out of his high chair, or cleaned him up, I noticed that his face (and everywhere he had touched with his egg-y little fingers, including the top of his head) was covered in a bright, red rash. I immediately sent Dan out for some Benadryl (and cursed myself for not having some on hand for quicker dosing) and hoped that this was just some sort of crazy one-time reaction to the food (we was kind of a rash-y baby anyways).
No one in my family had ever dealt with a food allergy before, so I knew nothing about them. But deep down, with the rash that was present, I knew that was probably what was going on.
I rushed Aaron to the pediatrician's office where they tested him for the 10 most common allergies, and the results came back as no surprise:
Aaron was allergic to eggs. (egg whites to be exact).
This was a really scary time for us. The excitement of introducing new foods to our babies was replaced with the constant monitoring of food labels and the constant wondering if what we were feeding our babies was going to cause another allergic reaction (and we had been warned that the 2nd reaction is usually much more severe). We received Emergency Action Plans and Special Diet Statements in addition to the weight of a brand new diagnosis.
Blood Test Results
So, I did what any new mom of an allergy kid does: I rid our entire house of eggs and all egg products. Overall, eggs was a pretty easy ingredient to eliminate, but it is more than just the eggs in the fridge. It's ranch salad dressing (bummer!), mayo, noodles, ice cream, and cookies and other baked goods (darn!), just to name a few. It is not like we were going out to eat a ton with having 1 year old twins, but the thought of eating at an actual restaurant, where I didn't know what had been touching the food that would be served to us scared the crap out of me, so we just didn't go out to eat. Ever.
I can honestly say that Aaron never came into contact with ANY egg for the entire next year. We made friends with the pharmacy where we stocked up on Epi Pen injectors and I placed them on every floor of our house, and kept one in the diaper bag, the bike trailer, my purse, and of course at daycare. I made all of the boys' caregivers watch the Youtube video on EpiPens. I monitored the food on our table like a hawk.
I feel like some people thought that I was a little ridiculous and paranoid about the whole allergy situation. (People who have never dealt with a food allergy before, of course). But I was completely frightened of an allergic reaction...hello, we are talking the possibility of DEATH here.
Once the boys turned 2 years old, Aaron went back in for a blood test, and I was so excited when his blood test came back negative for egg. However, he ended up failing the scratch test at the allergist's office, so we weren't totally in the clear (although the allergist did give us the green light on bakery items with eggs that are fully cooked as an ingredient-like muffins, cookies, etc.) While I felt a slight bit of relief with this news, the allergy was always on my mind at mealtime.
2 years old, just beginning the scratch test (Saline, Histamine, Egg)
Playing at the Allergy Appointment, waiting for the results of the scratch test
2 years old, Egg "scratch" is showing a reaction after the 15 minute wait.
Another year went by and the boys recently turned 3 years old, so I scheduled the scratch test again (the allergist said we could skip the blood test this time). We were excited when Aaron passed the scratch test. However, there was still one more step to being free of an allergy, and that was to do a "food challenge" where the food is slowly introduced back to the child.
3 years old, Yay! Another Allergy Appointment so we can play with all the doctors' stuff!
3 year old Scratch Test. You can see there is a reaction where the Histamine "scratch" is, but no reaction on the egg "scratch." Doctor Owen looks on to inspect.
So about 2 weeks ago, we went in for the food challenge. I think I was more nervous about having to entertain both boys by myself in a tiny doctor's office room for almost 4 hours!!! than having Aaron eat eggs for the first time in 2 years.
We had to bring in some yogurt that they mixed up with an egg white powder. Every 15 minutes the nurse would bring Aaron a "dose" of yogurt, increasing the amount served each time. They would check his heart rate and look for rashes. I held my breath every time, but in the end, he had NO reaction, which brought the best news.
Aaron is no longer allergic to eggs!
3 years old "food challenge" day
3 years old "food challenge" day. Can you guys just please sit still and watch a movie instead of tearing apart the entire room?!
3 years old: Nurse Chou listening to Aaron's heartbeat in between bites of "egg" yogurt.
Listen to Aaron's take on the whole "food challenge" :)
When my husband and I first met, it was a head-over-heels romance that I had previously only dreamed of in my wildest dreams. It was the kind of love that I could tell made on-lookers want to puke in their mouths a little bit. We were ga-ga for each other. Our pastor who helped us prepare for our wedding told us that we scored the highest score of any couple he had worked with in his 20 years of ministry on the compatibility test that we had to take prior to our wedding. We were so happy and things were just so perfect; I am not exaggerating.
It was the kind of thing where I would follow along like a puppy dog while my husband went to the Home Depot and I hate shopping at the Home Depot. He would come with me to Joann Fabrics, just because we wanted to be together every second of every day. I don't think we ever had a disagreement, let alone a full-fledged fight in any of our dating or early years of marriage.
And then we had kids.
We learned early on in our post-kids marriage that nothing good comes out of conversations that occur at 2am (or 3am, or 4am...) whilst trying to calm, feed, and diaper-change a crying-baby or two. Our days of sitting on the couch staring into each other's eyes for hours on end were long gone. We learned to communicate with each other through shoulder shrugs and grunts and eye rolling because we were just so tired. ALL of the time.
Being first time parents to preemie twins has humbled our marriage. We are so NOT perfect. There are more days than I'd like to admit where I haven't been a very good wife. I have been short, I have been crabby. And despite some marriage advice we received in our wedding guest book, there are days when we have gone to bed upset with one another. I am not proud of those moments at all.
What I am proud of is that we have always, always managed to make things better when things aren't quite right. And our relationship always comes out stronger in the end. We are a work in progress. We have goals for ourselves and our family that we are constantly working towards; goals that keep us moving forward together as one.
In 5 years of marriage, I would be a liar if I said it has been easy. But I am not lying when I say things have become even better than they were before. Not only is this guy a fantastic husband, he is an amazing father. And there is nothing more precious seeing your man loving on your kids, not because he should, but because he wants to. He gets up before the crack of dawn to get into work so that he can be home with us as a family in the evenings. He puts up with my OCD ways of doing things and loves me for who I am (bless him!). He is my rock and my everything. And while things were much more simple before we had kids, I find that it is some of the hardships we have endured together that makes us come out a stronger team in the end.
Happy 5 years, and many, many more.
Snapped just after we got engaged, overlooking Lake Superior
Honeymoon in Cozumel
Just about melted when I looked out our kitchen window to see this scene.
