First Day of Preschool.

Remember that time when your babies were babies and you looked at them and wondered if they would ever do anything other than eat and burp and poop and occasionally sleep? How it seemed like you would be changing diapers until they were teenagers and how you dreamed of sleeping through the night without any interruptions from your littles?

Yep. I remember.

But today, my babies went to preschool. Without me.

I had been debating whether or not to sign them up for preschool for a couple months. Since I am home with them in the summer, I didn't want to lose out on valuable time with them and honestly I worried that they would probably cry if I dropped them off at a new place.

But I signed them up. I tried my best to "prep" them for the new experience. We talked about how mommies and daddies do not go to preschool just little boys and girls. And that there would be really nice teachers there and that their names were Miss Joni and Miss Stephanie. And that if they had to go potty, they would have to ask their teacher. And yesterday, we walked up to their preschool to check the place out and see if maybe there would be a locker or a hook to put their new backpacks on.

There they were, right down at the end of the hallway, closest to their classroom. Two colorful little rainbows with the names "Owen" and "Aaron" written in marker on them, attached to the tiniest of lockers you have ever seen.

Gulp. I fought back my own tears as I excitedly pointed out their lockers and showed them how to open them. We tried to peek in the classroom and tried out the tiny toilets in the bathroom to give them that extra confidence they would need to do it on their own the next day.

Last night, I laid out their clothes and backpacks to be ready for their first day of preschool today.

They happily got dressed and ready to go (with a few minutes to spare for a few photos), and literally RAN towards their school, leaving me in the dust.

But as we got into the classroom, I could sense that the drop-off was not going to be easy, and I quickly tried to interest them in puzzles and trucks and stuffed animals. I knew I needed to make a quick exit and so I gave them hugs, reminded them that mommy would be back soon to pick them up, and turned and walked away to the sound of them crying.

It was not easy. I didn't look back. Miss Stephanie glanced at me as I walked out the door and said, "It's okay, they will do great."

And I pulled out of the parking lot wondering if I did the right thing. I felt bad for leaving them like that,but knew they would have fun once they were settled in.

I may or may not have returned to the school 45 minutes later to listen out in the hallway, to see if I could hear any crying.  I couldn't.

I may or may not have arrived 12 minutes early to pick them up, just in case they needed me.  They didn't.

And so, all of the parents waited outside in the hallway for their child's name to be called. I anxiously awaited my boys' names and out they ran with their papers and smiles. Smiles.

I was so proud.